This one's for all you Mac die-hards out there.

I recently bought the Verizon Voyager. One of my best friends already had the iPhone, which I tinkered with on multiple occasions. And I have to say, I think Verizon kicked some tail. I recently stumbled upon this, and let me just say: My respect for the world of Macintosh has declined tremendously thanks to these people. Some of you may be saying "Well you're just one person, Mac pwns!" I think I have several solid [and cleverly worded!] reasons why the Mac indeed doesn't "pwn".

One quality of Mac that I have never liked is the cult-y behaviors of those who use it. Because you've bought a new and ridiculously expensive computer system, you are somehow under the impression that it is now okay to be a member of the minorities of brilliant bloggers* [an oxymoron at its finest] and underground music junkies. You've seen them, the ones who sit at the Barnes and Noble's coffee shop with huge headphones on haunched over their Macbooks believing they are "culturally aware" because of their music choices. Can I tell you something? With your new Mac computer, you are still the same condescending yuppie. Fetch, doggie.

And now to address my least favorite aspect of the ever-so-common Mac persona. The average Mac user is a condescending prick with little to no experience with any product they critique. I'll use the Voyager forum conversation as an example.
One Verizon user buckled under the pressure of the anti-Verizon theme of the thread and hinted that his Voyager could possibly only be "almost as good". To this, some moron [outkaste25.. which if I'm not mistaken is the misspelled version of "Outkast", unless, of course, it's has deeper meaning, which is to be expected from our beloved Mac persona] responded "who wants to settle for 'almost as good' ;)". Apparently me, idiot.
Another solid example of the prick-persona of the average Mac user: "This thing looks like poo... Did they really mention this thing and 'iPhone' in the same sentence??". Based on the educational merit of this user's opinion, I would hope not. God forbid any other company creates a touch-screen phone!! Verizon had it on the table long before Apple, and just because its black with silver lining, its not a copycat or, as one user brilliantly put it, a "me-too" phone. With a fliptop, a legit keyboard, and all Verizon-exclusive programs, it must be the iPhone all over again! What if the design was to point out the fact that the iPhone just didn't cut it? In what I consider to be a fairly smart move, the Verizon company took their time, allowing the iPhone to be released for the ridiculous price of 600 dollars a swing. Verizon tweaked some features of their original idea, added a few cool new ideas to the mix, and released it as the standalone Voyager. The iPhone and the Voyager have a touchscreen and a browser in common. That's freaking IT.

A point of the Voyager that has often be poked at is the necessity of buying extra storage to get 8 gigabytes. Well this storage is INTERCHANGEABLE. With the iPhone, you are a slave to Apple, with your fixed memory of 4 or 8 gigs and no hope of any extra, and your crappy repair service [send it in for a month and maybe it'll come back fixed!]

Now in saying all this, I have a slightly shocking confession to make: I don't dislike Mac products! I own an iPod, I use iTunes [though Limewire helps too], and I seriously considered buying myself a Macbook during the past year. The thing I can't stand is the condescending and often incorrect ramblings of Mac idiots who have never used Linux or held a Zune in their life, but yet bash them into the ground! Those are just examples, of course, but you get the point. Sometimes, it's your duty to the American people to just shut up.


*I realize that I am expressing myself right NOW on a blog, however this is a result of my lack of credit abilities. No websites for me.

"I Have Never Met Anyone with a Conditional Identity Before"

In everyday life, I serve as a constant walking billboard for many products and people and things. I figured I would go ahead and let this flow into my blog, since more people go onto the internet [and read my blog, I'm SURE] than I probably personally know.

Maybe I should do one of those product of the day things.. But I can't be bothered to write an entry every day. I don't cater to you.

Numero Uno: Demetri Martin.
This guy is SO FUNNY. I feel the need to express me loathing of Dane Cook to help justify my comedy choices. Dane Cook steals acts from people who he didn't think were ever going to be famous. In fact, he thought he'd get away with it because he assumed that he himself wouldn't be famous. Take Louis CK's "Itchy Asshole" act, and take Dane Cook's "Itchy Asshole" act.. What is THAT?!
But back to Demetri Martin. He's clever and real, and he's so much like Mitch Hedberg [who is the greatest comedian who ever lived, however he's a legend so there's no need to describe him] that it isn't even funny. He manages to channel the comedians who've inspired him without stealing their acts or even borrowing their subjects. He gets to you in a very realistic, but yet silly, way. It leaves you saying "That's so true!" but you're laughing at the same time. I love his material, and everyone on the face of the earth should hear it.

Deux: Mozilla Firefox's "StumbleUpon"
SO COOL. If you use Firefox as your web browser [which you should], you can get this add-on called "StumbleUpon". It's this little button that, when you push it, takes you to the most random websites based on your specifications of interests. Some of them are the coolest things I've ever seen, and I would never have discovered them without this little button. I LOVE STUMBLEUPON.

So this was sort of a lame summary of the things I love right now, but maybe I'll pull a couple out, say, per ENTRY. Ambitious, but we're getting there.

Disgust cannot even begin to describe my feelings toward the single-most awful and wretched word [not EVEN a word] in history: Roflcopter.

What the hell IS a roflcopter exactly? This is what I believe to be a roflcopter. And you know what? It doesn't make a lot of sense, if you ask me.
All it is is a stupid little word used by people without the nerve to use their middle school lingo, for fear of looking like incompetent idiots. I hate this word, and whoever invented it must be shot.

Why am I so upset about something so ridiculous? Well. My dry-erase planner board is very dear to me. I recently found the word "roflcopter" scribbled right through the middle in marker that indeed was not Expo, but PERMANENT. I hope you're reading this, vandal, because I will find you!

And in fairly recent news, Lindsay Lohan might finally be broke! If so, my day is a little brighter. Tough luck, "Linds".


EDIT: 12/17
This entry is completely useless and I am ashamed that I wrote something so idiotic. Thank you.

Well, it's been approximately forever, so I figured I'd go ahead and update.

I have to admit, America's Next Top Model was one of the good shows up until two nights ago. Those wretched producers decided that Heather wasn't getting them as much publicity any more, so they dropped her like a hot potato.

I just feel terrible knowing that she's going to go home and watch like ten different episodes in which she gets bashed and bruised by the girls who she, in her farewell letter, referred to as "family". For her mental wellbeing, I wish she had left before it could get so bad.

I won't go on some tirade about how we should all boycott the show, because I will most likely be watching it again next week. I'm addicted to reality television, sue me.

Generic Media-driven Babblings

Generic media and etc. a la jour:

The Charlotte Bobcats, who I am quite partial to [why yes, that IS NBA!], are starting to pick up the pieces from their recent two-straight losses of over thirty points and demolished the Pacers last night. Unfortunately I was attending to unexpectedly worthless tasks last night and could not make it to the game, as I usually would religiously. Okafor put up 25 points, bringing the team up to a 20-2 run in the fourth quarter, winning the game for them. Ryan Hollins and Jason Richardson were again worthless and unfortunate players, Richardson more so. We need somebody good. The Celtics get Allen and Garnett, and who do we get? ..Dudley. Who the hell is Jared Dudley?!

Movie-wise:

Movie of the Week: Pride and Prejudice.
This is the best of the Jane Austen movies. No competition. As much as I dislike Kiera Knightley, anyone else would have killed the movie for me. She has a great accent for the time period in which the movie was set [we're going to guess, some time around Napoleon's reign? I think they mentioned him a couple times in there..]. Mr. Darcy, whoever he was, was wonderfully played, the dialog was snappy and sharp, and the scenery was beautiful. The plot, though cliche, was well-performed and everything was just GREAT. Sense and Sensibility induced a long nap after having seen this movie. I love Pride and Prejudice. Buy it now.

Bee Movie was good too; bring the kids.

Hollywood wise:

Sadly, it seems that The Office is about finished for now. According to TMZ, 102 people from the NBC show were laid off, leading most to assume that the show has been shut down. One report states that Steve Carrell refused to enter the set through a crowd of picketing writers. Well look what you did, Stevie! No, no, I'm only joking, but.. I'm sort of not. Boooo..

Oh, thrilling!

My first post!
Oh I'm so excited.

Allow me to explain a few things.
My thoughts are all over the place, you will never see two related posts anywhere near one another [if you do, inform me immediately!!]

Secondly, the title. "Intent to Start a Fire" represents two aspects of my life.
First off, my day-to-day goal is, as most of you can relate to, to enjoy myself. Some days, that involves the innovative use of conversation. For instance, if there is an argument that I am sure I can win, whether I mean to or not, I will eventually initiate it. This might not make a whole lot of sense.
An example: One day I learned through Google [God love it] about stem cell research, and the procedures involved. I was quite thrilled to have obtained this knowledge, and I proceeded to mention it over dinner. While I meant no harm, we soon began to have a heated debate over the morality of the situation and the definition of life, whilst I basked in the joy of having my arguments already outlined and perfected. I won, and winning arguments is something that I enjoy very much. Daily goal accomplished.
Point being, I prepare for my day with the knowledge that eventually, I will start a "fire". It is unavoidable.
Secondly, I will have nothing to do with apathy. A wise man once said, "Be decisive, even if it is the wrong decision." I plan to do great things with my life, and I wish to change something, no matter how small. We should all have goals, and we should all feel passionately about something. As you grow older, do you plan to do something great with your life, to "start a fire"? Or will you watch the others do it for you?

Oh so seriously said, today, but I assure you, it's temporary.
Goodbye for now!