This one's for all you Mac die-hards out there.

I recently bought the Verizon Voyager. One of my best friends already had the iPhone, which I tinkered with on multiple occasions. And I have to say, I think Verizon kicked some tail. I recently stumbled upon this, and let me just say: My respect for the world of Macintosh has declined tremendously thanks to these people. Some of you may be saying "Well you're just one person, Mac pwns!" I think I have several solid [and cleverly worded!] reasons why the Mac indeed doesn't "pwn".

One quality of Mac that I have never liked is the cult-y behaviors of those who use it. Because you've bought a new and ridiculously expensive computer system, you are somehow under the impression that it is now okay to be a member of the minorities of brilliant bloggers* [an oxymoron at its finest] and underground music junkies. You've seen them, the ones who sit at the Barnes and Noble's coffee shop with huge headphones on haunched over their Macbooks believing they are "culturally aware" because of their music choices. Can I tell you something? With your new Mac computer, you are still the same condescending yuppie. Fetch, doggie.

And now to address my least favorite aspect of the ever-so-common Mac persona. The average Mac user is a condescending prick with little to no experience with any product they critique. I'll use the Voyager forum conversation as an example.
One Verizon user buckled under the pressure of the anti-Verizon theme of the thread and hinted that his Voyager could possibly only be "almost as good". To this, some moron [outkaste25.. which if I'm not mistaken is the misspelled version of "Outkast", unless, of course, it's has deeper meaning, which is to be expected from our beloved Mac persona] responded "who wants to settle for 'almost as good' ;)". Apparently me, idiot.
Another solid example of the prick-persona of the average Mac user: "This thing looks like poo... Did they really mention this thing and 'iPhone' in the same sentence??". Based on the educational merit of this user's opinion, I would hope not. God forbid any other company creates a touch-screen phone!! Verizon had it on the table long before Apple, and just because its black with silver lining, its not a copycat or, as one user brilliantly put it, a "me-too" phone. With a fliptop, a legit keyboard, and all Verizon-exclusive programs, it must be the iPhone all over again! What if the design was to point out the fact that the iPhone just didn't cut it? In what I consider to be a fairly smart move, the Verizon company took their time, allowing the iPhone to be released for the ridiculous price of 600 dollars a swing. Verizon tweaked some features of their original idea, added a few cool new ideas to the mix, and released it as the standalone Voyager. The iPhone and the Voyager have a touchscreen and a browser in common. That's freaking IT.

A point of the Voyager that has often be poked at is the necessity of buying extra storage to get 8 gigabytes. Well this storage is INTERCHANGEABLE. With the iPhone, you are a slave to Apple, with your fixed memory of 4 or 8 gigs and no hope of any extra, and your crappy repair service [send it in for a month and maybe it'll come back fixed!]

Now in saying all this, I have a slightly shocking confession to make: I don't dislike Mac products! I own an iPod, I use iTunes [though Limewire helps too], and I seriously considered buying myself a Macbook during the past year. The thing I can't stand is the condescending and often incorrect ramblings of Mac idiots who have never used Linux or held a Zune in their life, but yet bash them into the ground! Those are just examples, of course, but you get the point. Sometimes, it's your duty to the American people to just shut up.


*I realize that I am expressing myself right NOW on a blog, however this is a result of my lack of credit abilities. No websites for me.

"I Have Never Met Anyone with a Conditional Identity Before"

In everyday life, I serve as a constant walking billboard for many products and people and things. I figured I would go ahead and let this flow into my blog, since more people go onto the internet [and read my blog, I'm SURE] than I probably personally know.

Maybe I should do one of those product of the day things.. But I can't be bothered to write an entry every day. I don't cater to you.

Numero Uno: Demetri Martin.
This guy is SO FUNNY. I feel the need to express me loathing of Dane Cook to help justify my comedy choices. Dane Cook steals acts from people who he didn't think were ever going to be famous. In fact, he thought he'd get away with it because he assumed that he himself wouldn't be famous. Take Louis CK's "Itchy Asshole" act, and take Dane Cook's "Itchy Asshole" act.. What is THAT?!
But back to Demetri Martin. He's clever and real, and he's so much like Mitch Hedberg [who is the greatest comedian who ever lived, however he's a legend so there's no need to describe him] that it isn't even funny. He manages to channel the comedians who've inspired him without stealing their acts or even borrowing their subjects. He gets to you in a very realistic, but yet silly, way. It leaves you saying "That's so true!" but you're laughing at the same time. I love his material, and everyone on the face of the earth should hear it.

Deux: Mozilla Firefox's "StumbleUpon"
SO COOL. If you use Firefox as your web browser [which you should], you can get this add-on called "StumbleUpon". It's this little button that, when you push it, takes you to the most random websites based on your specifications of interests. Some of them are the coolest things I've ever seen, and I would never have discovered them without this little button. I LOVE STUMBLEUPON.

So this was sort of a lame summary of the things I love right now, but maybe I'll pull a couple out, say, per ENTRY. Ambitious, but we're getting there.

Disgust cannot even begin to describe my feelings toward the single-most awful and wretched word [not EVEN a word] in history: Roflcopter.

What the hell IS a roflcopter exactly? This is what I believe to be a roflcopter. And you know what? It doesn't make a lot of sense, if you ask me.
All it is is a stupid little word used by people without the nerve to use their middle school lingo, for fear of looking like incompetent idiots. I hate this word, and whoever invented it must be shot.

Why am I so upset about something so ridiculous? Well. My dry-erase planner board is very dear to me. I recently found the word "roflcopter" scribbled right through the middle in marker that indeed was not Expo, but PERMANENT. I hope you're reading this, vandal, because I will find you!

And in fairly recent news, Lindsay Lohan might finally be broke! If so, my day is a little brighter. Tough luck, "Linds".


EDIT: 12/17
This entry is completely useless and I am ashamed that I wrote something so idiotic. Thank you.